Too tight. Too baggy. Too shiny. Too saggy. Too safe. Too crazy. Too ruffly. Too . . . similar to a taxidermied waterfowl. (Sorry, Bjork.)
Expectations are so high, and the popular media so merciless that nowadays the Oscar red carpet is a virtual minefield. Now imagine navigating it in 4-inch-tall Christian Louboutins.
There are two major mistakes stars can make when readying for the red carpet, says Sasha Charnin Morrison, the fashion director for Us Weekly and author of the upcoming "Secrets of Stylists" (Chronicle, $24.95).
First is fit: A poorly-tailored dress, or a failure to invest in appropriate underpinnings, will make any dress look sad. (Michelle Williams' wilted daisy-printed Valentino from the Golden Globes last month is a prime example.)
Second, a gown that looks exquisite in the context of a runway show (and on a model with thighs no thicker than a can of Diet Coke) might not translate to the red carpet. A fashion show, Morrison says, has an inherent theatricality, a circus-type atmosphere. "Each look that comes down the runway has a story. It all seems to make sense." Which is why a model can prance along the catwalk with satin cinammon rolls strapped to her boobs, as one did in Christian Dior's opulent spring 2010 couture collection, but Charlize Theron couldn't carry off that same look at last year's Oscars without looking ridiculous.
While the more rambunctious (read: drunken) atmosphere of the Golden Globes allows for some sartorial leeway, Morrison says most stars seek a "drop-dead elegant" look at the Oscars. "There's no room for creative black tie," she says. "It just doesn't exist."
We scrutinized the looks from the spring 2011 haute couture runways in Paris last month and from the New York Fashion Week fall 2011 collections, which wrapped on Thursday. Check out our top picks for some of our favorite red carpet queens.
